My meaning in life............

I really believe my meaning in life is to stand for everything that is right and just while slaying any of whom threaten my honor or my loved ones. I have gone through my life knowing that life can be truly unfair and even kick one while one is down but words can only prepare one so much for the pain and sufferings one may endure. My whole own personal experiences in life have always been rough and very unforgiving weather if it was backstabbers that waited for the moment that i was most vulnerable or if it was my own family that never truly accepted me for who or what i stood for. The most unusual part was the fact that i was my own worst enemy, never actually accepting myself and just conforming with the rest of the blind followers. I will never truly understand why i suddenly one day just got fed up but all i know is that on that day i decided to stand and fight for what i believed in rather then hide like a coward. That day i stood up to those that insisted on reminding me that i was nothing out of their own pleasures and made them eat there words by reminding them that in reality they were the ones that needed me because i was the only one dumb enough to actually hear their crap but those days were over. My next challengers were my own family who never bothered to actually take the time to know me for who i was and not for what i looked like. I guess one could say that they only saw a little boy who was lost and needed guidance towards the path of Hispanic beliefs but i was the only one to really notice that i had already had found my path. Finally one day i had decided to actually sum up the courage to stand and fight by wearing what i wanted to wear, a Trivium shirt that on the back read "we'll take there f #%$ing heads" knowing that this was asking for trouble. From the moment i walked in i could feel their eyes piercing at me looking for an opening in which to say a comment toward me like a sword looking for and opening to its opponent looking for the spot where they may sink their blade into. Even with all the tension i stood my ground preparing for the worst only to find out that they would say nothing knowing that i was ready for them which really felt fulfilling. knowing that i had slayed all those who oppressed me my whole life only made me stronger and made it easier from then on to feel more comfortable with who i truly was. These were all very important victories for me but the war is still not over because even to this day with all those who have try ed to bring me down for their own pleasure have been stoped but there is still one foe who i have still not slayed and still will forever haunt me til the day that go to my grave and that foe is myself. to anyone who has experienced it, no matter how comfortable one is with oneself there will forever be that voice in the back of ones head that with out fail always be ones worst critic. weather to accept their to except these words will always be up to you or what i have done is just used it as fuel for the crucial and inevitable journey to come.All these chapters in my life so far have taught me a very important lesson and it is "That it is not how you fall that defines you but how you get up and stand against that which has brought you down, only then will you truly never be forgotten". To me these words help me push through a world that looks down on a man being that can stand on his own two feet. The fact that i may fall one day and not get up does not scare me because even though that is an inevitable as long as i fall with my sword and shield in hand i know that i will have died for cause and with a smile on my face. This is my story of how a boy took on his demons and survived only to find out that it was him all along that was the key to be set free from his oppressors that tormented him for so long.

How does one really know when one in love.......

One thinks that when one has a couple that is always seen together and are always happy to see one another one thinks that they must be in love but to what extent? The funny thing is one will never know if the couple is truly in love until shit hits the fan and that relationship is thrown into hell itself. only then does one watch in amazement at the squirming around like a lizard with a severed tail not knowing what has happened to it. when this happens the relationship is thrown into chaos and the aftermath determines the outcome of the relationship mainly do to the fact that during this process the two are tested on how much crap they can put up with. one may think this can be an easy task and might actually go through it and survive with there loved one only to figure out that the relationship will still end. what I'm trying to say out of all this is that even when one does go through the ultimate test of love one may soon realize that love is unpredictable because as i learned first hand, love is never what it seems to be. I think the funniest thing out of all this is that one may have read this whole blog just to find that there really no way to know if it is true love or not just that the couple must have faith in one another and hope that it lasts.

teaching kids there is such a thing as harmony and perfection

you know when you first hear me say that i really hate crap like the disney channel and all those pretty people you would automaticlly think that im jealous, well your dead wrong. the truth is i hate those people because they are always smiling and acting as though nothing is wrong in the world or theres, and i understand you want to have rolemodels for the young minded but all we are really doing is just poisoning there minds with false hopes and dreams and setting them up for failure. my honest belief is that teaching kids to be nice and smile all the time is fine but not showing them the reality that is in this world and babying them there whole lives is just going to make things harder for them to deal with the fantasy world they see everyday on the TV and the world we all live in today. the sad thing is that they do show little problems that there idols go through only those problems are minor and insignifigant to the things that normal people deal with. what are these children going to do when they come across a subjects like death, war, anarchy, and abuse what are they going to do push it away and go back into there shell and act like nothings wrong as long as there life is intact. now im not saying to show all of this stuff to all ages expecting them to understand all i am saying is that the things that we show them now is positive but you cant hide them forever from the darkness.